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HEAD's Novel Chapters 13-18

Chapter 13

The Blackman Twins


HEAD:Al was all for forgiving and forgetting that Steve beat on him and went to Steve and told Steve that he thought they made a great team and they should try again,Steve told Al "no way nobody takes you serious as long as you carry around that HEAD",this upset me I must say,so I told Al we should teach Blackman a lesson

HEAD:Al started having matches dressed like Blackman and using Blackman's moves,we even used the numchucks and got DQ'ed in a match with D'Lo for using the numchucks on D'Lo's noodle,we then helped Blackman win a match by staging a run in and beaning the Godfather over the head so Steve would win

HEAD:Later on we went and did a show in Ohio for Ohio Valley Wrestling in which we tried to beat Nick Dinsmore for his championship belt,but it was not to be,Nick beat us to retain the belt,when we got back to the WWF we had a chance to win back that damn Hardcore belt,but as we were having a match against Crash,Steve came down to ringside with his own ref and when we were not looking Steve pined Crash to win the Hardcore belt,which was ok with us,we were begining to like Steve,in a later match Crash staged a drive by and won the belt back but we double teamed him and won the belt back for Steve

HEAD:It was Summer time by now and it was time to take a vacation so we took off for Hawaii for some R&R and to sign some autographs,when we came back we figured we would once again go on our own so we wrote a poem,and read it to Steve ......"When we were first teamed up, we won with great ease... Me with my head, you...with your cheese. I tried to be hip, and carefree and fun,I give you some personality, since you CLEARY had none... We went to a Farm, and I had to say "WOW- I never saw a guy nunchuck a cow I guess it's not fair No not you You beat the hell outta Ben Franklin and a woman who turned 82 We then changed and tried it your way... without any luck; We Blackmans were boring, boy did we suck! Then we were losing, not winning a lot. This doesn't have anything to do with you, but, Bea Arthur is really hot. You're still pretty dull, and kind of a bore, but you've got a nice beard, and now you're hardcore".

HEAD:So we were looking for something to do and we heard Tazz crying so we came to the ring and told him to stop boo who-ing...he chocked us out...so Mick set us up in a match against Tazz at the Fully Loaded PPV.....once again we had to do the JOB at the PPV when we taped out to the Tazzmission....will this ever stop????

Chapter 14

The Crowned Prince of Europenis


HEAD:That was the end of fighting the thug Tazz who started picking on JR and the King,and once again we were in no mans land,we had two matches at House Shows against Val Venis for the I.C. but Val retained the belt both times

HEAD:It was around this time that the Kat came to us and wanted help from Al to help her in her cat fights against the She Devil Terri,they had one match in which when Al asked Kat to toss me to Al she tossed me over his head and we lost the match,Kat then asked us to be her second at the next PPV,which we did and when Kat asked Al to toss me to her we beaned Terri in the head then gave her the stinkie face

Head:Later that week on Smack Down we get a Title match against Perry Saturn for the European belt,we pin Perry with the Dragon Sleeper and become the Crowned Prince of Europia!!!

HEAD:So I thought it would be a great idea for Al to come to the ring dressed like folks from countries in the United Kingdom,we started out with dressing as a German and came to the ring with Greman Sausage around Al's neck and a photo of the actor all Germans love David Hasselhoff,Al school boyed Tazz to retain the belt,we wrestled across the country at house shows retaining the belt against Saturn,Tazz,and Xpac

HEAD:We had a Hardcore match at the PPV but we really didn't care about it and Steve Blackman was sure to retain the Hardcore Belt anyway, Next on TV we dressed Al as a French person and we came to the ring with a Poodle Dog,French Bread,French Fries,and a photo of Pepe Le Pew

HEAD: We were having so much fun that we dressed as Vampires from Transylania,this is where William Regal comes into the picture with his English nose stuck in the air,he started coming to ringside to do color with the King when we were having matches,and called us names,we had a match against Test were we were dressed like a person from the movie Grease,William didn't understand that, he didn't even know who "Hong Kong Phooey" was when we came to the ring dressed as someone from Hong Kong and after we retained the title by defeating Albert,William ran into the ring and attacked Al,if that wasn't bad enough William kicked me out of the ring.....oh it's on now!!!

HEAD:But damn that William Regal anyway,we had a match at a house show in Toledo Ohio in which we beat the pants off of Mr.Regal,but he was to get even when on the next night on November 16th on Raw is War Al dressed up as an Englishman which upset William who put Al in a supmission hold and Al taped out,after holding the belt for 45 days Al was no longer the Eropenis Champion,we did try one more time on Smackdown the same week in a 3 way dance with Saturn and William,but it was not to be as Al once again taped out

Chapter 15

Sticks and Stones may Break my Bones


HEAD:It may have been in that 3 way dance where Al fractured his wrist,you could tell it was bothering him as he had a match with a jobber every time Al landed on his wrist he would have to shake off the pain

HEAD:In the mean time Mick was in a fight with Vince,Al came to Mick and asked for a Hardcore match against Raven,Mick was worried about Al's wrist and wasn't so sure he should give Al the match,Al talked Mick into letting him have the match

HEAD:The match was on and as Raven and Al wrestled at the top of the ramp and along the Titontron somewhere along the way Al broke his finger,and as they wrestled to the outside of the arena and out into the parking lot,out of nowhere Al was attacked by Tiger and Lo-Down,Raven from behind whacks Al in the noodle with a Cinder Block,Al was seeing little blue Birdies and was later seen being put in an Ambulance...... never to be seen again thru the Holidays of 2000

HEAD:We sat around and waited for Al's wrist to heal,we would still take trips to the local Gym to work out.One Weekend morning as we were driving home around 10:30 in the morning,as we were driving down the road I noticed a car hitting some ice and slamming into a tree,another car went sliding thru a fence,I told Al that maybe he should slow down,which he did,no sooner did we slow down then did a Mercury Topez come sliding into our lane and hit our Dodge Ram Truck head on,I went rolling to the floor and my hair got stuck on some gum,Al put his hand up to stop his head from hitting the windshild Al broke the knuckle on his right hand because of this Other than that we were fine we got pretty lucky, unfortunately for the three kids in the Topez they didnt fare as well but we know they would be alright in a little time.We went to visit them in the Hospital....they seemed like good kids.

HEAD:We couldn't wait to get back to work and be in the Royal Rumble

HEAD:At the Royal Rumble that damn Raven comes out before us at number 7,we come out right behind him at number 8,I tell Al to use the Bowling Ball which rolls right into Ravens crotch,out comes our old friend Unabomb who tossed Al over the ropes making Al the 9th person tossed out.....just goes to show you....never trust an old friend who changes his name and wears a mask

HEAD:On Raw of 1/22/2001 Al beats Raven for the Hardcore belt once again,I was jumping up and down with joy till Tori wearing a ski mask hits Al over the noodle from behind and rolls Raven onto Al for the win.....never trust a woman wearing a mask ether!

HEAD:I told Al he should campaign to become WWF commissioner,we went over to Mick's house and told him of the idea and he thought it was great,little did we know that Mick was writing a new book in which a full chapter would have to do with Al's penis.

HEAD:With Al's midget friends we came up with a little song"Hi Ho,Hi Ho....we want Commissioner Snow,we even made up buttons,but that evil Vince had other ideas and put us in a match on Smack Down 3/8/2001 against Regal,winner to become WWF Commissioner.....we lost

Chapter 16

Tough Enough


HEAD:WWF was starting a show called"Tough Enough"in which 13 kids would train to get a WWF contract(one man one woman).....Al wanting to try his hand at doing other things other then wrestling thought this might be fun,so along with Tori,Jackie,and Tazz,they picked the 13 folks for the Tough Enough show,after checking out millions of kids that wanted to be on the show at the try outs at WWF NY,both Al and I went home with headaches

HEAD:The 13 picked for the show were,Jason,Josh,Victoria,Bobbie Jo,the two Chris's,Mavon,Taylor,Paulina,Nadia,Shadrick,Greg,Darryl,and his Brother Darryl,and his other Brother Darryl!

HEAD:After Al had a match on Metal in which he beat Essa Rios,Al took off to film Tough Enough and was not seen on TV till the Premire of Tough Enough

HEAD:The first show saw Jason leave as he whimped out,the next show Bobbie Jo who we had worried about her butt,and Victoria who we worried about her noodle,boo who'd that they wanted to go home....so Big John sent them home

HEAD:In the mean time Al was training Shane McMahon when Al came down with Sciatica,I told Al to stay home and drink Chicken Soup,which Al did as he was out of action

Chapter 17

The Color of Heat


HEAD:Rumors ran amuck on the internet that Al was to have a try out to do color with MC for Sunday Night Heat as Tazz had ran off to re-join ECW,Al must have done a fine job at the try-outs as on Heat of 7/18/2001 Al co-Hosted the show....I know he could do it!

HEAD:Mean time the next week on Tough Enough it was time for a cut,we told the Trainees to go to their lockers,the one that had a red tag in it was out.......it was in Darryl's locker and with a sad Chubby Puppy Dog face he was gone!

HEAD:Down they went show after show.....Shadrick,Paulina,Greg,and Chris,and it was down to the last 5,Josh,Maven,Harvard Chris,Taylor,and Nidia,the finale show was to air.....

HEAD:Then September 11th happened,we had been in the New York city for the last few weeks, training the final five contestants of "WWF Tough Enough."we were just in Times Square with the contestants that Monday, hosting RAW IS WAR at WWF New York.

HEAD:Pam called to check in on Al on Tuesday, and was relieved when she found out that he had left the City by then. Al spent Tuesday watching the news with the contestants.

Al:"It was like the day that time stood still,"We didn't know what to do. We didn't know what was appropriate to do or not to do."

HEAD:Mean time Al was getting heat on Heat as Tazz was the guest and seemed not to happy with Al since Al had become the star of Tough Enough and Tazz felt like Al was everyones father,Al tries to walk away from Tazz,Tazz says to Al

Tazz:Walk away Al like the Bytch you are

HEAD:......ohhhhhh.....Al was not going to stand for that and they had to pull them apart,all the Al fans thought this was going to be a work between Al and Tazz but nothing came of it till weeks later

HEAD:The Finale of Tough Enough found the winners to be Maven and Nidia,soon there was a work with Tazz and Maven in which Maven even won a match with the help of Nidia at ring side,Tazz later would get in Nidia's face,Al would stop all this by beating Tazz in the ring for the first time ever

HEAD:Al was now seattled in as co-host of Heat and have other adventures with guests such as Booker T ,I didn't like his shoes,and Tommy Dreamer who was once Al's friend in ECW was not nice to Al at all

HEAD:Al would also run as a write in vote for Mayor of Lima Ohio only to lose to David J. Berger who for the 3rd time payed for his votes(hee-hee)

Chapter 18

Smaven


HEAD: It all started at the Royal Rumble on 1/20/02 Al entered as number 6 and tossed out Lance Storm before Al is tossed out by the Undertaker,and as the Undertaker was busy dealing with the Hardy Boyz and Lita the next wrestler out was Maven,as Undertaker had his back to Maven,Maven drop kicks the Undertaker out of the ring over the top rope,the Undertaker not too happy about this beats up Maven all the way up and out of the arena,Maven was never tossed over the top rope but never made it back to the event

HEAD:After that every chance the Undertaker could get he was beating up on Maven,till on a Smack Down in Feb.,Maven got his match with the Undertaker,Al had faith in Maven but told him that if anything bad was to happen that Al had the car full of gas and that we could get him to the Hosptial as fast as we could,I told Al I would drive but that Al would have to help with the gas and breaks

HEAD:Pauliana from Tough Enough was watching from front row ringside,Al came out with Maven to be in his corner,Undertaker at the time was the Hardcore champ,so this match was for the belt,Maven was about to give up when down the ramp ran the Rock who beaned the Undertaker in the noodle with a chair,Al goes crazy banging on the mat for Maven to side over and pin the Undertaker,Maven managed to do so and to the delight of Al and myself Maven becomes Hardcore Champion thanks to the good luck of Paulina

HEAD:Mean time work had started on the filming of Tough Enough Two,I directed some adds with Al in them promoting Tough Enough Two,one where Al hit a garbage can over the head of an olympic winner,and one where Al beans a chair over a Hockey players head.....I should win an award for those adds!

HEAD:2/28/02 Smack Down..... next thing you know my odd little friend from the past Goldust is back and he has a Hardcore title match with Maven,but Maven was too smart for Goldust and pins him with a school boy,ah-oh.....Undertakers music hits and down the ramp he comes on his bike he begins to start beating the crap out of Maven,Al who was in the back was in the John,I rolled over to the Restroom door and yelled to Al that Maven needed help,Al pulled up his pants and ran to the ring to help Maven,Al was so upset that he and Undertaker had a match then and there,Al managed to drop kick the Undertaker out of the ring,but the Undertaker then drug Al out of the ring and beat him up at ringside,down the ramp ran Ric Flair who found the Undertakers steel pipe and beans the Undertaker from behind in the head,making the match a no contest

HEAD: On 3/7/02 Smack Down Al and Maven took on the Undertaker... try as they might they got creamed by the biker from hell!......as Maven is in the back all beat up Goldust takes advantage of the Hardcore 24/7 Rule and with a ref of his own attacked Maven and won the Hardcore belt

HEAD:3/11/02 WWF Raw Al would have none of that and beats Goldust with a Snow Plow to again become Hardcore Champion,we all had milk afterwords

HEAD:Around this time Tough Enough Two shows started to run and we all got to meet the new lucky 13....Annie,Ken,Jake,Alica,Matt,Linda,Hawk,Shad,Jesse who dropped out becuse of a heart contition,Jackie,Aaron,Pete,Robert,and Danny,the trainers were Al,Ivory,Chavo,and Bob Holy

HEAD:We had a great time filming Tough Enough Two with Hawk and a great trip to South Africa,Jake was not too pleased when Jackie and Linda won the show,in the end both Jackie and Linda were shipped down to OVW after they where in a match with Trish in which I had to close my eyes to watch it was that bad

HEAD:But mean time on 3/14/02 Smack Down in a Hardcore title match against Big Show there is a run in by Goldust and Maven....the match ends with Maven pinning Al for the Hardcore Belt .......how could he do that to Al????

Head:3/17/02 WWF Wrestlemania-In a Hardcore match between Maven and Goldust Al gets into the action but does not win the belt...Spike wins the belt,then Hurricane wins the belt,then Molly beans Hurricane over the head with a frying Pan to win the belt,only to lose the belt to Christain who losses it to Maven and Maven rides off into the Sunset with the belt

HEAD: Then we ran into a stone wall when on 3/18/02 Raw in a Harcore Title match between Al and Maven it become a no contest as Brock Lesnar staged a run in and kills them all....even Spike.....

HEAD:Later on in June Al was in a number one contenders Battle Royal and was tossed out of the ring by Jerico.......Al and Maven went on to have 16 matches against Billy and Chuck in which we lost every 16 matches.........Maven one night found himself in a match in which he injured his leg which took him out of action for many months.........Al took off to work on Tough Enough Three

Chapter 19-